Funerals are a defining moment in the grieving process. Whether the tribute is secular or religious, it is a turning point. This decisive and unique moment must therefore be memorable. The choice of the celebrant who will orchestrate it is delicate.
Every celebration is different. Some families prefer it formal, others more creative. To go through this important stage of mourning, we specifically need to feel understood by our guide.
THE MOTHER TONGUE
Opting for a celebrant who speaks our mother tongue, whether French, English, Creole, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, Ukrainian or other, directly establishes a close and friendly link with the family. The tribute then becomes personalized. As Diana Memberno (Family Advisor at Memoria) mentions, a language also carries common cultural references, values, and customs.
THE VOICE
Since the celebrant accompanies us in a moment of great vulnerability, his tone of voice must immediately put us in confidence. A soft tone that inspires us with comfort is more likely to lead to a successful ceremony. As Daniel Théorêt (celebrant at Memoria) mentions, our guide must have a consoling tone of voice, since he is called upon to transmit a word of comfort.
The voice appeals to the invisible and the intimate, it brings us back to what lives in us. Louise Pelletier (celebrant at Memoria) also mentions that the last tribute serves above all to soothe us without falling asleep and to awaken our inner life.
4 ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF A CELEBRANT
1) Respectful and flexible
Our celebrant is there to be faithful to our beliefs (secular or religious), to align with them and not to impose their own on us.
2) Listening
The work of the celebrant has changed a lot in recent years. Previously, he reproduced the same type of ceremony without really consulting the family. Nowadays, he is called upon to make a whole preparation upstream with it. Whether during a telephone meeting or in person, he collects our feelings, our memories, our desires regarding the ceremony. As Daniel Théorêt mentions, he accompanies us during this passage. In a way, he is our spokesperson.
3) Transparency
He is not there to present a show, but rather to create a space for sharing and facilitating a sincere and intimate encounter. He must remain himself since it is his humanity that the family appeals to. This authenticity promotes real openness, a more fluid and liberating expression of emotions.
4) At the service of the heart
Louise Pelletier also evokes the idea that he must have the ability to convey the emotions of the family. We therefore prefer someone with empathy who has good intuition and knows how to put themselves in the shoes of the bereaved. He must have good antennas, take the pulse of the room and be attentive to the movements of the heart of the guests and to their breathing.
Over the years, Memoria has found that tributes leave a happier memory when they are supported by a musician. In the same way as the celebrant, the interpreters are not there to shine with their prowess, but rather called upon to support the emotions of the family members with humility. He offers a space of comfort.
Memoria's counselors know the celebrants well and how to match families with the one who will be able to best assist them in this moment of grief.
To plan a ritual in your image, do not hesitate to make a free appointment with one of our advisers without any obligation.
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